Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
