The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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