the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
