yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
