its not stalking. its research.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
