you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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