Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
