You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
