Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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