I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He kissed a someone with a penis
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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