Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
should my penis look like a turkey
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
