Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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