just come out here and I will go home with you...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
