Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
