You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
