Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
