as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
