so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
