What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
