So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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