I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
