@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
