You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
