Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
