Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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