I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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