I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
