The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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