I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
