The maid of honor just puked.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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