your parents love me but you hate me
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
