I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
