There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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