i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
