cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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