even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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