True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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