like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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