OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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