That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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