I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
