Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
