Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
