Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
