I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
