i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
