its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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