i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
