At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
