garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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