I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
