I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
