He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize