do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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