"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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