New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Terrible idea I love it
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
