kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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