She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i came on her dog
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
