I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I deserve this hangover.
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