When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
